Making the first time a good time
Your first time should be special. You can’t rewind if it doesn’t go to plan. And who wants to have regrets? Making sure you’re 100% ready for sex is the only way you, and your boyfriend, will have a good experience. Help is at hand as you make that major decision...
Am I really ready for sex?
Deciding whether you’re ready is one of life’s biggest decisions. You’re the only one who can – and should – make it.
When’s the right time?
Although there is a legal age of consent, that’s not necessarily the perfect age for you to start having sex. And there are no rules about how long you have to be going out with someone before you do it. Being ready happens at different times for everyone, but having sex because your friends are pressuring you is a bad call.
Saying no
You might feel awkward saying no – but going through with it because you’re too polite to say no could be a big mistake. If you’ve got any doubts at all, or you feel under pressure, put the brakes on and talk about your feelings.
Saying yes
If you think the time’s right, the first time will be loads more special if you talk about it with your boyfriend first. Tell him how you’d like it to happen and talk about contraception together.
Read more:
Making a relationship work
“If you loved me…”
Like it or not, “if you loved me…” lines are emotional blackmail. However much you do love – or like – your boyfriend, sex isn’t something you have to do to prove it.
It’s your call
The decision to have sex for the first time should be yours – not something you do to make him happy. You can’t have your first time twice, so you’ve got every reason to think carefully about it and take it slowly.
If he loved you…
If he really loves you, he’ll respect your wishes and he’ll wait until you’re ready. It can be tempting to just get it over and done with, but it’s best to be absolutely sure so you don’t regret anything.
How does a condom work?
Although your boyfriend is going to be wearing it, finding out about condoms, and making sure you’re prepared for sex by carrying some around, is smart thinking!
All about condoms
Condoms are made of latex or polyurethane (thin rubber materials) and fit over his erect penis.
Before sex, the condom goes over his penis to stop sperm going inside your vagina.
If you follow the instructions, using a new condom every time you have sex, they are 99% effective.
Condoms stop you getting pregnant and protect from STIs.
You can buy them from chemists, supermarkets and vending machines and get them free from a young person’s sexual health clinic, GUM clinic or Family Planning clinic.
Female condoms are thin plastic pouches – they sit inside your vagina to stop pregnancy and STIs and can only be used once.
No one wants regrets
Marie: ‘My first time was a let down. The pressure to have sex was well heavy at my school and I just wanted to get it over with. I’d only been seeing this lad a few weeks and don’t even know if he really wanted to do it. I suppose I threw myself at him. It was quick and sweaty and I stopped fancying him straight after. It makes me cringe just thinking about it.’
Shanty: ‘I’m glad I w8d wiv my bf G.I. We’d bin 2getha bout a yr & it jst felt rite. I knew how much he cared bout me & it wz ded special.’
A girl's point of view
Despite what your friends might say most young people don’t have sex until they are over 16.
If you're ready for sex, make sure you use a condom. Respect yourself – it is your right to insist on using a condom.
