It's up to you
Your mates are constantly on at you for being a virgin, calling you gay boy (and the rest) because you haven’t had a snog/had a girlfriend/had sex yet. And even girls make you feel like a nerd because you’re not a professional ‘loverman’. Find out how to make your own decisions and deal with the pressure.
Knowing if the time is right
Deciding whether you’re ready is a huge decision – but only you can make it.
When’s the right time?
Although there is a legal age of consent, that’s not necessarily the perfect age for you to start having sex. And there are no rules about how long you have to be going out with someone before you do it. Being ready happens at different times for everyone, but having sex because your mates are pressuring you is a bad call.
Saying no
Saying no is tough – especially for lads. You’re probably worried she’ll dump you or tell your mates you bottled it. But someone who really cares wouldn’t do that.
Saying yes
If you think the time’s right, try making the first time special. Talk about contraception and pick the right moment.
It’s your decision to make
No.2: It should be your decision, but there’s loads of pressure. My ex girlfriend never properly asked me if I wanted to do it - she kept dropping hints and making jokes about it to my mates. In the end we had sex, but split-up soon after because we didn’t like each other that much.
Dev: People have wound me up about being a virgin loads – but mates who really matter never would. I haven’t met the right girl yet and my real friends respect that. I think when I do meet her, I’ll just know that it’s right.
Once you’re ready – get the condoms out!
When you know the time is right, have condoms at the ready.
Where can I get them?
You can buy condoms online or from most grocery shops, supermarkets, chemists and petrol stations, or from vending machines in bars, cafes, restaurants and clubs.
You can also get free condoms from a clinic - even if you're under 16. The people working there won't judge you – they’ll be impressed you're taking responsibility.
Too shy?
If you feel embarrassed, buy condoms online or from a big supermarket where you can buy mags or snacks at the same time.
Read more:
How does a condom work?
What to say to shut them up
If your mates are on your back, be ready with a smart reply:
They say: You haven’t had sex cos no one fancies you
You say: …or maybe I’m just playing it cool?
They say: She’ll dump you if you don’t do it soon
You say: …she wants me for more than just sex
They say: We’ve all done it tons of times
You say: And Santa really climbs down the chimney every year
They say: You must be gay
You say: As if waiting for the right person makes me gay
A guy's point of view
If my mates had been honest about whether or not they’d had sex I would’ve respected them a whole lot more.
If u do it jst 2 shut ur mates up ur 1st tym cld b a let down…
